Mommie Diaries: Death of a Celebrity Childhood crush

Aug. 6th

Dear Diary,

Dad cleared from lung cancer but not fromthe possibility of some other kind of issue. Thankfully it would be something that is not fatal and he can recover. I think that was the worse I have ever had to deal with in the last 20 years.

Stress caused some health issues of my own. Seems to be getting better as long as I stay calm and able to do some yoga/mediation. It has made me afraid to cry. If I get upset, cry or extremely stress that globus sensation seems to come back.

Photo by Marcus Aurelius on

Despite my dad being fine I have had to deal with the stress of still not being able to find a job. Any job.. I can not find an apartment in Texas without a job. Yet we still plan on moving thanks to my being incredibly good at saving money. Hoping it might be easier to get a job if we are in the actually location we are looking.

Photo by Thibault Trillet on

Then I find out that my celebrity childhood crush died. Heart attack at the age of 51. MY AGE!. He was part of that famous Puerto Rican Music groupo MENUDO. Ugh and being Puerto Rican well they were literally a huge part of my life. I had all the records, t-shirts, magazines, and posters. You should have seen my room. My aunt took me and my cousin to our first Menudo concert. Ray was my favorite. I was going to marry him and move to Puerto Rico. His eye, his dancing and the way he sang Si Tu No Estas made my heart flutter. He got older, gained weight but still loved him. Still very cute. He died about 3 months ago but due to my staying the heck off of everything I did not find out until now. Yup, I cried and cried. Felt a bit silly but damn that was like my childhood. Spent all day listening to every song he had every sang. This is not helping my depression what so ever. Not to mention the globus sensation. Like I said before that it’s silly. Don’t understand why his death really got to me. Just happy to have had the wonderful experience of being one of his biggest fans(one of many) who got to see him in concert way back in the 80’s.

Photo by J. Rodriguez on

Anyway, Still have alot of stuff to take care of before we move. Talk to you later.

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