Saturday June 12th
Dont know how to write this… I feel like I am literally drowning. I can’t breath. All this must just be one horrid dream.
Friday my son got good news. He got an offer letter for a job in Texas. He was going to move regardless but now makes it easier for him.
His good news was followed my the worse news I could have ever received. My daddy(yes my daddy) has lung cancer. Weird considering the man never smoked a day in his life. The Doctor is positive in him being able to beat this but wont know for sure until after the second biopsy. I am scared. I love my dad and the thought of anything happening. I can only imagine how he must feel. How I feel is nothing compared to how he is feeling. My feelings literally mean nothing. He is all the matters right now. I have been doing nothing but crying and begging God to please let him be cured from this horrible thing.
Today I got up and took a nice long hot bath. Drank hot green tea. Wanted to clear my head. Then cried.
Got all the kids up and while they were getting dressed made my husband take care to get cleaned. We vacuumed it good and went through the car wash. Love clean. Went home, grabbed kids and took a nice long drive to Wienerschnitzels. We totally stuffed our faces with chili cheese dogs. You dont even know how that long drive actually help.
Home now. Looking for jobs and apartments in Texas. I am only allowing happy positive thoughts. In the mean time I am going to stop writing for awhile. At least until I know my dad will be fine.
I hate the word cancer. I hate how there are so many people having to deal with this crap.