Personal

Mommie Diary-Lets’ Get real

The other day I watched one of those Instagram video’s from Fgteev. I follow them for my 10 year old. The dad was talking about how he was watching some TikTok videos and he started to feel depressed. He was literally comparing himself to others. Apparently his wife was complaining about feeling sad as well. Then goes on to say how toxic social media is these days. That just because one person looks happy does not mean they are happy. How they chose what they want you to see.

Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com

Today another person I follow, Tarek El Moussa posted how social media can make peoples lives look perfect. Goes on saying how he wants to get real with us…. Him and his fiancee are soo busy working, planning their wedding and so on…. Ending it with dont let what you see on social media fool you.

I love following these people. I watch Fgteev with my youngest who is they biggest fan. I watch Flip or flop. Have for years. But they do exactly what they are warning you against. I see more of Tareks vacations, fancy dinners, relaxing and parties then I see of them actually working. I see alot of Fgteev shopping, spending money having fun. They have posted several vacations as well.

Yes, Fgteev mom have been through alot and they briefly touched on that. And that really is the closest to keeping it real that I have seen from them.

I see more of fake then I do of the real stuff. If your going to talk about all the fake then post more of the real.

All I see if a bunch of rich people, with big beautiful houses, nice cars, clothes, going out to nice expensive restaurants, taking wonderful relaxing vacations.

Kind of hard not to compare and get depressed. In God’s eyes it is wrong. I hate myself for doing so…. I cry, I pray, I ask for forgiveness for my thoughts.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I work hard. Well in the past I have but since losing my job due to covid crap has gotten real bad. I cant find a job. Especially in a job I was literally trained to do. It is not fair that these people get the better life. Its not fair that they post all these awesome pictures/Videos saying “Look at what we have and you dont”. Then think they are going to help by posting about the fakeness of some peoples posts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok.

Look at my life. Look at the crap I post. Nothing fake from me.

I live in a small 3 bedroom apartment with a husband and 5 boys.

Lost my job. Can Not find another.

I do not have alot of money.

I have not taken a vacation for like 10 years. Tried to plan a Disneyland trip for my 50th bday but had to cancel due to lack of money.

I suffer from Depresson/anxiety.

Having to deal damn menopause.

My husband pays more attention to his video games then he does me or even his own kids.

I love my kids but they run me ragged.

I spend my day cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids and dogs.

I end my day going to bed crying. Wondering what the hell I did wrong in my life that this IS MY LIFE. And what is worse I have no clue how to change it. Tried many times yet failed.

And Now I am thinking seriously this time about ending this blog. Reality does not sell. Fake does and I can not be fake.

Yes, I can smile. Especially in front of my babies. On the inside I hurt. And I do compare myself to others. I do get jealous of others.

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