I can not remember what I did Monday. Just know it was the beginning of the week. Kids all had to be woken up early for zoom. My husband gets to lie there on the sofa ignoring the fact that I am feeling overwelhmed dealing with house work, kids and dogs. If I ask him why he is just lying there his only response is “I’m tired”. Guess no point on both being tired.
Menopause is kicking my butt. I feel tired, stressed, depressed and very anxious. One second I am feeling fine the next I want to strip down to my undies but I have kids. I tried the generic form of estroven my mom suggested but did not help to eleviate anything. Maybe I will give the non generic a try.
Been trying to do the yoga for anxiety but my damn head wont stop with unnecessary thoughts.
To make matters worse—I went to take a nice hot bath yesterday night in hope of relaxing a bit. Washed my hair then went to pump out some conditioner and guess the HELL what ????? A spider hidden under the part where the conditioner comes out. I touched a big nasty spider. Flew out of the bath yelling for someone to save me. Thankfully my husband was able to pull himself away from his game. Tried to get back in the bath but my nerves were already shot.
My little love slept in his bed. Which was probably a good idea. Needed the space on my bed for all the tossing and turning I did because I could not sleep for crap.
Today is now Wednesday. All the kids fought over playing video games when they were suppose to just get freaken classes done. Husband again was too tired to help but was not too tired to jump on the game once his friends said to get on.
Did not at all follow my schedule. I hate when I get off it.
The only social media I get onto these days is my Instagram. I only follow and allow positive on that platform. I also follow my sons favorite you tubers-FGTEEV. The dad posted something that really got to me. He and his wife despite doing well by having money, nice house and an awesome family still compare their lives to others on social media. They felt like maybe someone is funnier, doing better, looking better than them. I have fallen into that trap as well…. It does get me down. I also have found that I have compared myself to this paticular family. Mostly to the dad. Wishing how even though the dad can be annoying, he is very attentive to his kids and wife. He plays games with his whole family. Involves his family in just about everything he does…That is what I compare things to more that how it would be nice to have a massive house or enough money to be able to spoil my kids.
This is me. This is my family. This is reality. Not a fake happy perfect family.
I love my family. We have our ups and our downs. My kids never get mistreated. They are brats at times. They fight 75 percent of the time( they are boys after all).
Going to end this… I might also take a time out. Need to get crap under control a bit.