January 15th- Friday Happy Birthday mom
I woke up this morning mad at myself. I forgot to send my mom a HAPPY BIRTHDAY message at midnight. I allowed my siblings to beat me to it. It is a silly competition thing we do on birthdays. My mom said “Thank You, But your sister set her alarm in order to be the first”. Love my mom but way to make me feel bad. I did however get more sleep then usual. I only woke up once at 3am.
Today was late start day for the kids so I did not wake them up until about 8:50 am. I really needed some time to myself. For some reason I went and opened the front door and found two boxes from nespresso. A very nice surprise. Still dont know what made me check. Maybe coffee calls to me. One box contained the free porcelain espresso cups. The other apparently is the lost order suddenly found. All the issues I had still irritate me. I made some coffee for me and my husband. Only reason why I did was because he acted like he was going to do his real estate classess instead of being glued to the game acting as though we all didn’t exist. He actually let one of my teens play but…..(more after)
Two kids had zoom. The high school kid and my baby. But when I saw my highschooler walking around and asking for coffee, I questioned him. Apparently they had an online rally and he did not want to participate. My youngest promised to pay attention to his teacher if he could stay in my bed. That did not work well because once teacher gave them a break he managed to forget to go back after his 5 minutes were up. He is only 10 so I will take some of the blame for it.
Now back to my husband. He disappeared outside saying he had to see if his work truck would start. Once he came back inside he told my son to get off the game. Got frustrated with my son for not getting off fast enough. Really? No, I do not want my kids playing the games all day and I do not want them playing during the school week. But he was finished with his school and it was a Friday. Like I said earlier about thinking he would work on his real estate classes that cost money I was wrong. He was on it for 20 minutes. How can he just sit there all day playing a game? He has a family after all. Not to mention I am freaken tired. Help would be nice.
I guess the kids were happy that today was Friday because they were pretty darn good. No fighting, they got work done and didn’t complain about not being able to play the playstation. I was able to do my yoga with NOT one interruption. Oh the best part also was I was able to take a nice relaxing bath.
After my bath I decided to try out our little espresso cups. My 13 yr old and I have coffee time after yoga. I used the altissio pod, a drop of vanilla syrup, and a drop of milk frothe. Took the cups to my room with a square of dark chocolate, grabbed my book while he grabbed my phone to play his phone game while we drank our espresso. This was actually the first time we drank a shot of espresso. And well now we are hooked. We both loved it and we both wanted more. Not a good idea though so we refrained. There is always tomorrow.
My husband of course is still on the game. It is getting late so I am going to read and get to bed. Good night
January 16th – Saturday
I am so happy today is Saturday. I let the kids sleep in a bit while I went and had coffee alone. I did not even bother to wake my husband who again was alseep on the sofa. I so hate whatever game he is playing on his playstation that is keeping him away from his family. Hell I hate the games period. It causes fightes between kids, It causes my huband to ignore the fact that he has a family and it causes my kids to not focus on school. I tried to push the idea of no games until the weekend but who am I. Just someone who apparently does not understand games so I am someone who needs to keep my mouth shut on the situation.
While I am quietly reading and drinking my espresso my lovely husband gets up and goes right to his game. His friends who like in another state have already been on it for a couple of hours because they live in another state with different time zone. I refuse to make his coffee and just keep to myself.
Once kids got up I made them breakfast and of couse the fight as to who gets to place first begins. Why every damn day do I have to deal with this? I talked my youngest into forgetting about the games and having snuggle time. I promised that we would sit and watch his favorite you tubers. I reminded my 13 year old that his tablet is fixed so he has that to keep him occupied. Doing this would allow my 14 year old to have first turn at the games. I do not enjoy listening to my him play. WOW that kid is loud when he thinks someone is not playing the game right.
I made lunch but for dinner I promised the kids take out. After the bills get paid I try to budget for food of their choice. Usually its nasty Mcdonalds as to which I will not eat. One thing my husband will take a break from his games is take out. He will tell his friends he will be right back while he runs to get the food. I was able to talk the kids into Jack in the Box so I can at least get a chicken sandwich and not feel as sick. I really am not a fan of fast food and we do not eat it that often. Cant afford better food but gives me a break from cooking and doing alot of cleaning.
No yoga, just a bit of surface cleaning but mostly snuggling. Kids were quiet once I set the rules for the day. Again weekends is when they will listen the most. Yes still some fighting but overall not as bad. It is now 10pm so I am going to read more of my book and see about getting to sleep soon. Bye
January 17th- Sunday
I went to bed later than I actually wanted to last night. I forgot I had to do my unemployment. If I wait to do it than it will take forever or the site will crash due to 50 million others trying to get theirs done as well.
Still managed to get up before the kids. My youngest managed to talk his way into sleeping in my bed. Let me tell you what it is like sleeping next to this kid. First I do not get sleep. What I get is elbowed, head butted or kicked in the face by a foot. Yup my kid sleeps here, there and everywhere on the bed. But then sometimes he will sleep talk and say how he loves mommie, or how beautiful he thinks I am… He makes my heart just melt. He said God gave him to be because he knew that we would need each other. I about cried when he said that.
Oh I was saying I got up in the morning and as I was sitting in bed debating if I want to make coffee. I can hear my husband talking to someone. It was 8:30 am. So I guess coffee while I see who the hell he is talking to because I know darn well kids do not wake up this early on a weekend. I quietly walk out and of course he doesn’t notice me but I see computer on with headphones. He is on his damn game. I make my coffee while cleaning the kitchen and go back to my room. I cant believe it. He doesn’t come in to my room to say good morning or hand me a cup of coffee. Not one single acknowledgement that I exist. I wonder what he thinks. How he can possible think what he is doing is good for our family or our marriage.
Anyway, my little one wakes up putting his arms around me giving me a kiss followed by my 13 year old. Oh how I love how my boys still love to give me hugs and kisses. Of course they would never do that around their friends or when I drop them off at school. I do know eventually that home hugs and kisses will eventually end.
I let the kids eat breakfast in my room along with their coffee. We watch some you tube. Really hate you tube. I miss the Sunday morning cartoons that were on when I was a kid.
We pretty much just stayed in the room and relaxed. No one wanted to deal with being around their dad.
Lunch was followed by dinner. Dinner was followed by some coffee( not for kids) and chocolate( they had that with hot chocolate or milk).
I want to get to bed early today. I have plans to drive to Costco before getting my groceries from Walmart. So, I will end this boring entry and see about sleep. Wish me luck.
January 18- Monday- Martin Luther King Day!
Wow, I did not sleep for crap last night. I have no idea what was going on. No Tv, No computer, No late night coffee. Kids were in bed asleep. Dogs were asleep. I tried this pillow or that pillow. I flipped this way and that way. I took a melotonin. And I wanted to just cry. My husband later walked into the room and stated the obvious by saying ” you’re still awake?”. Yes! moron I am still awake. I have been making sure to take those pills my mom suggested to help with menopause. It has helped alot with the freaken hot flashes. After he left I turned on the tv. Found something real boring to watch. I fell asleep for a couple of hours but woke up. That went on until I had to be up at 9am.
I was so freaken tired but had my errands to run. Did not even have time for a cup of coffee. Oddly enough my husband was ready along with my 16 yr old. He usually doens’t like to run errands with us. It felt good to go shopping. I preset my budget and make my budget clear to my husband. He forgets that he is not working sometimes. Found some snacks, pajamas and books for the kids. Then I found pillows. Property brother pillows. I love them, I really really do!(Property brothers that is).They felt good so we brought those plus some down pillows. Hoping that they will help with my neck. Every morning I wake up with a killer neck pain. I can’t afford to try the $100 dollar pillows so hopefully these will due for now.
You can tell that my husband could not wait to get out of there and back home to his game. He would constantly complain about his mask(which he never has before), or how we have been in store too long ect…. Finally we left ran to walmart and back to home. He and the boys helped with the groceries. As soon as the last bag was dumped on the floor husband who shall now be named the blob ran back to his precious game. I put all the stuff away and started food for the kids.
I wanted to scrub the house today. Sometimes I get this feeling that my house could be cleaner. So I tear everything down. Wash all the sheets, blankets, clothes and towels. I grabbed a large trash bag and toss what is never used or worn. And disinfect everything. Still do not feel that my tiny ass apartment is actually clean enough. But will it ever be with one blog and 5 boys.
I rushed to get dinner done for the boys and a smoothie for me. I wanted to get my yoga in by 6pm in order to have some espresso and reading my book. Any later than that would mean no coffee.
Tomorrow is school for the kids which makes them unhappy. Also means alot of moans, groans and me begging.
It is now 9pm. Kids in their bed and me in mine. I will end this now and get some reading done. So far my new pillows feel nice. But the real test is if I wake up with no neck pain. Good night and agaid Diary wish me luck.